30 weeks today //

i look like i swallowed a soccer ball
can't walk more than a few steps without support belt
most shirts don't reach the bottom of the bump now
the kicks sometimes look and feel more like earthquakes
we all think it's a boy

i like my midwives
rita told me she went to columbia 
i'm going to labor at home until i'm 100% sure one of them is there

it's still a fight
to not hate my size
to step away from the temptation to criticize
my own body
my body neutrality practice has been helping
i sit on the edge of the bed and remind myself:

my body is no better or worse than anyone else's

my body is doing exactly what it should be doing

i prayed for this 

please use me to do whatever You need done today

my body won't always feel or look like this

my body is my home

my body is my baby's home