Nov 9th: dishes, change

Well-known is the scripture about God being fundamentally unchangeable. His children, however, are in luck. We can change. He is willing to overlook our wrongs and mistakes – all one million of Alex's – all for the simple cost of our humility. He loves us without stipulation, even when we break our promises, even when we come up short, even when we yell. He still loves us. Yesterday I taught my girls that there is nothing they can do to make Him stop loving them. I have no doubt of it.

Today as I stood at the sink washing the day's fortieth sinkful of dishes, at the end of a very long afternoon that included punishments, discipline, a white lie (Lucy), a hit (Eleanor), and a can of sparkling water poured on the counter (me. No obviously this was Charlie), I reflected on the day. I had yelled. I had gotten so mad. I'd yelled more. I'd leaned in to my frustration instead of climbing over it and grasping for my patience. I felt horrible. I had *just* spent an hour doing the dishes yesterday, and somehow the sink was full again. Things change so incredibly fast. A sink is empty, it's full, I wash more dishes. I yell, I say I'm sorry, I read them stories. And that family-cell-turnover is only possible because His grace allows us to drop the weight of our mistakes. His Plan of Salvation enables us, through Christ, to be completely cleansed from even the shortest of tempers and the longest of Mondays. All we have to do is ask for it. I don't know what we did to deserve His love but I am in awe of it and so deeply grateful He has trusted me with three of His precious children. I pray tomorrow I will be the mom they deserve. And I'm thankful for the chance to try again.