dream home

today i was looking at a famous influencer's feed
and her house is so beautiful
she's worked so hard for so long and now she has her dream home
full of her dream kids
with a dream cleaning crew, no doubt

and for a minute i let myself wish so badly
that i had my own dream house
full of beautiful objects carefully curated and collected 
and expertly designed
a dream that is
so far off for me

and then instead of spiraling into
"it'll never happen, i'll always live in a house that's just,"
some sparse seedling of wisdom sprouted forth
and said, you don't need to spend all that money 
kiss nate
and build your beautiful home

so i did 

immediate upgrade