both of Us losing

the obgyn said to come back on the second day
so i drag myself to the office
no choice but to go now, in the space that fits between drop off and the first client call
nate and charlie stay with daniel tiger
numb driving there
numb sitting in there
numb checking which vein
the nurse determines the left arm is better
she counts out seven vials
ties off my arm
i tell her, "i might start crying"
a 21 gauge needle is apparently all it takes to break the dam
i start crying and can't stop
life drains out of my arm
eight mini test tubes' worth
back in the car
i cry for my Mother
Mother, do You know what this feels like?
a thought comes, I wonder if it's Her –
"every time it happens to you, it happens to Me.
I'm sad too
I'm sad too"